Wedding Dress
by BittersweetChocolates09
Summary: How does Hikaru really feel on Tamaki's wedding day? This is a songfic and also my first fanfic so please be kind! :


**DISCLAIMER: **I DON'T OWN OHSHC OR THE SONG 'WEDDING DRESS'

And also, please forgive me if this fanfic is suckish. It's my first, and I appreciate reviews that would help me improve my writing. Thank you.

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**Some say it ain't over 'till it's over**

**But I guess it's really over now**

**There's something I gotta say before I let you go**

**Listen…**

From where I am, I keep my eyes glued to Haruhi as she walks down the long aisle of the church milord had picked. Yes, this is the day the Host Club has been waiting for so long.

Haruhi's wedding day.

May I say something for myself, though? Just like the other Host Club members, I knew this day would come sooner or later, yet unlike them, I dreaded and feared this. Because this is the day when the truth would finally slap my face.

And as she walked down that aisle, memories of us together flashed before my eyes.

**Never should've let you go  
Never found myself at home  
Ever since that day that you walked  
Right out the door**

_We just finished talking to Milord's dad and we dropped off Haruhi in front of her house out of kindness. We knew she had a rough day but that was nothing compared to what Milord was facing that time. I thought it was an understatement that he couldn't face it alone._

_I shouldn't give him anymore problems._

"_Well, for today, it's better to go home. Be sure to eat something, okay, Haruhi?" Kaoru said while patting Haruhi's hair._

"_Yes," Haruhi replied, and it was obvious in her voice that she was tired of all that drama._

_I should help him._

"_Kaoru… I'm sorry, could you…?" I said, never getting to finish it._

"_Okay! I'll wait in the car," he answered._

_Once Kaoru was out of sight, Haruhi turned to me. "Hikaru?" _

"_I already asked you about this before, but this time, I want a clear answer from you. Are you in love with Milord?" I asked her seriously unlike the last time. I don't know why I still asked her, though, when I, myself, knew what her answer would be. Maybe it was my wishful thoughts of her being in love with me instead, that made me do that, I don't know. But I had asked her, and there was no more turning back._

_With that being realized, I promised that whatever her answer would be, I would accept it whole-heartedly._

_She ducked her head and murmured an almost inaudible "Yes."_

"_I see, well, I…" It was all I can do to keep myself from breaking down in front of her. _

"_Well, I knew in a way, but as expected, yeah…" I can't stop the incomprehensible words that come out of my mouth._

"_Haruhi, I love you, but that's okay, I'm over it…" Lies._

"_That's why, Haruhi, you must tell Milord that you love him!" I said it. The thing that would break my heart into a million pieces if it happened._

_And then I hugged her. I hugged her for what I was sure was the last time before she confessed her feelings to Milord. _

**You were like my beating heart  
That I, I can't control  
Even though we've grown apart  
My brain can't seem to let you go  
**

_Then my brain took me to the time when we had Milord meet his mother before leaving. There was only Kyouya-senpai, Kaoru, and me until Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai arrived. _

"_Where are Tama-chan and Haru-chan?" Honey-senpai innocently asked. What he didn't know was each word in his question painfully stabbed my heart._

"_It seems that they are still inside the airport," Kyouya-senpai answered his question._

_I knew it. That's why I've been having that sinking feeling since I woke up today. Like something big was going to happen. It turns out that something 'big' wasn't Milord's reunion with his mother. It was The Confession._

"_I wonder if Haruhi… finally confessed… her feelings to Milord?" I asked no one in particular._

_Kaoru, my twin, was the one who gave me an answer. "Hikaru, she must have… for sure…"_

_And then I cried. I cried for all I was worth._

_So this is what it felt when you got heartbroken. I suddenly felt sorry for the girls we tricked back when we were still in middle school. _

_I'll be lying if I said I never felt pain before, but this one…it just hurts so much. My brain can't wrap around this kind of pain. _

**Thinking back to the old times  
When you kept me up late at night  
We use to mess around  
Laugh and play, fuss and fight**

_For days, I've been reminiscing about those days when Kaoru and I used to play with her and called her our 'toy'. Even though it annoyed her to no end, and she kept scolding us, it was worth it._

_Even though she wouldn't admit it, I knew she was happy and so was I. During those times, it had been light and normal for us. As normal as breathing._

**I guess it's too late, Im dancing this dance alone  
This chapter's done, the story goes on**

The sound of music draws me back to reality. She was still walking down the aisle, as if everything was happening in slow motion.

**Baby  
Can't believe that you are not with me  
'Cause you should be my lady  
All I want is to set your heart free**

If only I didn't let her go, maybe…just maybe, I would be her Groom right now, instead of just being the Best Man.

But for once, I didn't want to act selfish. I love her. And love isn't about being selfish_._**  
**  
**But if you believe that you belong with him  
Promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you  
Remember, I will always be here for you**

I can easily make out how happy her face is underneath that translucent veil. If she is happy, then I should be happy too, right? And I swear, if Milord ever tried to even think of hurting her… I'm going to kill him without a second thought.

But seeing her smiling like that… I really think she's going to be happy with him.

But that doesn't erase the fact that I'll always be there for her… as her best friend. Because that's all she could have me as.

**Even if it kills me to see you  
In that wedding dress  
Oh see you in that wedding dress  
See you in that wedding dress  
Oh see you in that wedding dress**

She wasn't that far away anymore. Now I could really see how much she looked good in what she's wearing. Her wedding dress. The one that _I _designed just for her.

**Snappin' out this misery  
Depression, this ain't me  
But I always turn around  
180 degrees**

Believe me when I say that I tried to move on. I really tried. Hard. Very hard. I'm also still trying. But despite my efforts, I failed.

I don't know why. Ever since I could remember, my motto has been to 'Move on and get on with life' because I knew that life was short. It could end so sudden, in just a few minutes. You just have to be in the wrong time and in the wrong place, just like those car accident victims all over the news.

Yet here I am, challenging my very life motto. All because of her. Haruhi.

**You got control of me  
And I, I can't explain  
Somebody call 911 Emergency  
Before I go insane**

**Since you've moved on  
You took a piece of me give it back  
So much pain in my chest  
Blacking out, heart attack**

As she reaches us, the pain I've been feeling in my heart suddenly worsens. It feels like my heart was being taken out painfully from my chest. Unconsciously, I reached for my heart and gripped it, hard, as if I never want to let go.

I must be crazy. There's no way that could actually be happening. I mean, who would do that to me, in a wedding?

**I guess it's too late, I'm dancing this dance alone  
This chapter's done, the story goes on**

Ranka-san lets go of her hand while Milord offers his. She took his outstretched hand and walked to the altar with Milord, but not before she offered me a smile. A smile that assures me that she's happy and she'll be okay. A smile that says 'thank you, for making me happy'.

I smiled back. Not a grin. Not a smirk. A smile. A simple and genuine smile that said 'I'm happy for you'.

I wish she hadn't caught the underlying 'even though I'm in so much pain right now'.

But this was my decision. To make her happy even if I won't be.

_Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own._

If she wasn't happy with me, then I would have no chance of being happy as well.

As I watched them say their vows and kissed, I applauded. Along with all the people who attended the wedding.

The only difference was a stray tear rolled down my right cheek.

I had truly lost her.

**Baby  
Can't believe that you are not with me  
'Cause you should be my lady  
All I want is to set your heart free**

**But if you believe that you belong with him  
Promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you  
Remember, I will always be here for you**

**Even if it kills me to see you  
In that wedding dress  
Oh see you in that wedding dress  
See you in that wedding dress  
Oh see you in that wedding dress**

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**THANKS FOR READING!**


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